Happy Tuesday, everyone.

I’ve spent the past few weeks pondering the role of this blog in my life and the direction I want to take it and whether I want to even take it in any direction at all.

I’ve come to a few conclusions but I still have unanswered questions/uncertain feelings too.  I’ve decided to move ahead with the ideas and let the rest of it sit and percolate for a while longer.

This blog’s direction and purpose:

At the time that I started this blog, I had another “daily life” type of blog that I considered my main outlet for thoughts, feelings, and philosophical ponderings about life, parenthood, life after health crises, and marriage to a terminally-ill husband.

The Daily Dollar Diary was supposed to be just that — a secondary blog recording my daily expenditures – sort of a social experiment allowing everyone and anyone to see how one suburban housewife spent the family’s money.  I intended to be as transparent and anonymous as possible and  I really hadn’t thought either way about whether I’d write additional finance-related posts.

Then, in the shuffle of moving from one host to another rather suddenly, something went terribly wrong.  Long story short – my main blog got lost.  I stopped blogging but after a while I really starting missing the outlet.  Not yet ready to pick up and start all over again with my main blog, I revived my Daily Dollar Dairy.  Just for the fun of it.  I certainly didn’t start out to become a Personal Finance blogger.

Why?  Well, for one thing, personal finance was something I’d never really thought about.  The Husband and I enjoy fairly traditional roles (at least outwardly) in that he makes the money and I spend it.  He balances the checkbooks, pays the bills, and knows how much we have and where it is.  I know who wears what size and likes what color, when a birthday is approaching and who to ask for gift ideas, and what needs to be replaced or what can be repaired — and who to talk to to get it done.

Beyond the fact that personal finance isn’t a subject I’d previously spent much time thinking about, there’s also the fact that I am by no means an expert and have no special organizational or financial skills.  I’ve had a lot of fun, so far, posting my daily expenditures, writing the occasional maintenance tip or product review, and reading lots of personal finance blogs.  But, at the same time, I’ve been floundering trying to find a place in the Personal Financial blogosphere that feels like home for me and my blog.  I don’t fit into the journey-out-of-debt category because I’m not in debt.  I don’t fit into the I’m-rich-and-here’s-how-I-did-it category because I’m not and I didn’t.  I certainly don’t fit into the amateur-investing-advice or credit-card-arbitrage-game categories since the sum total of my investing experience is buying GE stock on Sharebuilder and the closest we get to credit-card arbitrage is to make all of our purchases on a credit cards and then pay the bills in full before the due date, occasionally getting dividends or other rebate incentives as a result of our credit card usage.

Mainly, I feel uncomfortable giving advice because I’m just an average Joe muddling my way through life and money and the last thing the world needs is another self-important, pompous average Joe — the world and the blogosphere are full of people like that.  Who the heck am I to tell you what’s a good use of your money or how much to save?

Although I am loathe to blog from an “advice” standpoint, I do enjoy sharing my experiences and viewpoints.  Likewise, the blogs I enjoy reading and find myself returning to again and again are the ones in which the author simply shares stories and personal perspectives.  In my experience, self-proclaimed experts are full of hot air and not worth my time and energy.  I’d much rather hear how half a dozen different families have dealt with the issue of allowance than read what what one bloated blogger with a 2-year old thinks is the best way to teach kids how to be money savvy.  I, too, was once a foremost expert on childrearing — until I had kids.  In my book, humility goes a long way.

So, after weeks of pondering and reading and soul-searching, I’ve decided to make my Daily Dollar Dairy the type of blog that I love to read — a personal record of my journey through all things related to money and personal finance from my own unique perspective.  I will tell my readers how I spend my money and why I spend my money but I will not advise them how to spend theirs (and if I cross that line, dear readers, I ask that you call me on it).  I will share when I save money and where I save it and how much it is or isn’t earning in interest but I will not presume to tell you how much to save, what type of fund to save it in, or whether or not you could get a better deal elsewhere.

Upcoming Posting Changes:

I’ve decided to create a basic schedule of topics on which I’d like to post in addition to my daily expenditure reports.  I’m a little afraid of doing this and a little reluctant to announce it because quite likely I’m biting off more than I can chew and will faily miserably at maintaining the schedule.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?  Besides, in creating this schedule, I’ve given myself full permission to get off-track if my real-life schedule gets in the way or my health situation makes keeping up difficult.

Here’s my planned posting schedule:

• Monday — Maintenance Monday: tips, reminders, etc.
• Tuesday — Day of Discovery:  self-reflection, philosophical ponderings, or just some tidbit I learned recently
• Wednesday — Kids & Money: need I say more? 
• Thursday — The Art of Shopping:  the zen of finding good deals, being a wise consumer, and product reviews
• Friday — Carnivals and Link Love

Upcoming Blog Changes:

I’ve gone around and around on the issue of monetizing my blog.  Monetizing blogs is an issue on which I am more than a little torn.  For me, the line between a blogger making a little side income on affiliate links or Google Adsense ads blurs very quickly into feeling like revenue is the main purpose of the blog and the text and articles a secondary effort.  Yes, I’m admittedly a little cynical but doesn’t it strike you as a little crass for a site about digging your way out of consumer debt to display ads for payday loans and credit card offers?

After much thought, I’ve made two decisions about monetizing my blog:  1) I’m going limit my blog’s advertisements to hand-picked affiliates that will be listed in the left-hand column and a separate Affiliates page and 2) 50% of all affiliate income generated on my blog will be donated to a charity of my choosing and the other 50% will be divided between my children’s college savings accounts.

The companies that I choose as affiliates will have to meet certain criteria — they will either be companies and/or products that I have positive personal experience with and personally recommend or they will be companies and/or products that have a good reputation or have been recommended to me by a trusted source.  I give you my solemn promise that you will not find ads for Payday loans or get-rich-quick schemes on my blog.

Requesting Feedback:

If you are so inclined, I would truly appreciate any feedback you might have to offer on my blog.  My readership isn’t huge and is, at the moment, fairly static.  I’m not blogging to become famous nor do I have any type of subscribership, but I’m definitely interested in producing a quality and readable product.  I’m am curious as to why vistors are here and why they come back.  If you have anything to say about the type of posts you find interesting or any comments on my writing style or suggestions for future topics, please contact me — either in the comments or via email (see the graphic in the upper left column).

I had an interesting conversation with the clerk at Kohl’s today.

While conducting the transaction, I mentioned that I had to guess as to how much to put on the gift card because I couldn’t remember how much I’d already spent on this particular grandchild.

As I heard myself say this, it occurred to me how much difference there is in my shopping techniques for my immediate family as opposed to my shopping techniques for extended family.

The clerk was commisterating — she said she’d raised seven children and she was always careful to spend the same amount on each child.  Apparently the children were very conscious of whether their presents were of the same value as the other children.

This is not how I shop for my children.  On Christmas, I generally try to have the same number of gifts for my children.  How much I spend on each just isn’t part of the equation.  This year I think I’ve spent a good 3 or 4 times as much on The Daughter as I have on The Son.  Sometimes, for birthdays, we spend $50; sometimes nearly 10 times that much.  It all depends on what the child wants or the inspiration that strikes that year.

Shopping for the grandchildren and my nieces and nephews is different.  Generally, I try to spend the same amount on each child (or each family, if I’m buying a combined family gift).

In thinking about this I’ve realized that there’s something deeper going on here.

When I’m shopping from the deep, shopping-from-love-trying-to-find-just-that-right-gift place, it really doesn’t matter how much I spend.  Sometimes that perfect gift costs $5.  Sometimes $50.  What matters is that it’s just the right gift for the right person at the right time.  I love that kind of shopping.

When I’m shopping from the I-feel-obligated place, it’s much more important to spend an equal amount on each person.  Yes, I’m making an effort to buy something that the receipient will want and hopefully enjoy.  But when push comes to shove, I’m buying because I need to give that person a gift.  This type of shopping is unpleasantly stressful.

How do you shop?  Do you pay more attention to the amount you spend?  Or the number of gifts?  Or something else entirely?

Again, I’ve got a puzzling financial question and I’m turning to my readers for help.

To insure or not to insure, that is the question….

Perhaps you’ve read my Introducing The Cast of Players post or all of my About Me postings and already have a bead on my financial and health situation.  If not, here it is in a nutshell:  I’m 43.  The Husband is 72.  Together we have two children – both teens.  I have some health problems but, with the exception of what might have been a series of TIAs (mini-strokes), they all seem to fall into the chronic category (IBS, food allergies, Fibromyalgia, Hypothyroid, and Sleep Apnea).  The Husband, on the other hand, has “incurable” cancer (inoperable Prostate cancer no longer contained within the prostate).

The Husband has some life insurance (all together about $80,000).  Together with his share of the corporation that he heads, his share of his father’s estate, his personal investments, and various other savings, etc., his net worth is close to $1 mil.  I have two IRAs with a combined worth of about $15,000 and I have a small life insurance policy through work also worth $15,000.  I will inherit nothing but debt from my mother.  I believe my father is worth a sizable chunk of change but due to his lifestyle, our distant relationship, and his current wife’s ways, I’m not counting on inheriting a dime.

My concern is for my children should something happen to me before they are grown and graduated from college.  If The Husband should die, the assumption is that I would take over as President of the corporation (I’m currently VP) and continue to draw his salary.  There would also be his investment income and his life insurance policies.  As long as I continued to live a reasonably frugal lifestyle, I could send the kids to college and live a comfortable life.  But if I should die, things would be a bit more complicated.

This is one of those really difficult conversations that beingfrugal.net talked about last week.  Several months ago, when dealing with our insurance agent about new health insurance, I asked the agent to research life insurance options for me.  He did and gave me several proposals and price schedules.  Last night I brought the subject up again with The Husband.  He just assumes that if something were to happen to me, he would take care of the children until they’re grown :-)  Most of the time his I’m invincable attitude is endearing and inspiring.  But ocassionally, like last night, it’s frightening and frustrating.

Although we’d all like to hope that we’ll live to a ripe old age of 105 and then just die quietly in our sleep one night, that unfortunately is not the most likely scenario for our passing.  Odds are that at some point The Husband will need care.  I have dibs on that job.  I want it and second only to staying healthy for my children, my desire is to stay healthy for him.  But life is not about what we want — most of us do not get to choose the time and circumstances of our death — it’s about dealing with the hand we’re dealt.

If something should happen to me, how would my minor children get through the rest of their growing and schooling?  I’ve been of the thought that I need to carry a life insurance policy — at least for the duration of their youth and schooling.  The Son is the youngest and, at 13, I figure he has about 10 more years of needing “coverage.”

So last night, after our awkward but open, loving, and fruitful conversation, The Husband agreed that I should call the agent and discuss a $100,000 Term Life policy.  His reasoning — it will buy me some peace of mind.  But this morning, I’m having second thoughts.

My main concern — and my main purpose for the insurance policy — is to provide some type of funds that the children or their guardian could access immediately upon my death.  If The Husband had proceeded me in death, this would give the children or their guardian access to living-expense funds assuming that the rest of their estate would be tied up in red-tape for a while.  If I should die before The Husband, the policy would simply be invested and eventually provide a cushion or add to the funds that they would eventually inherit.  It would be my hope that The Husband would make the funds accessible to the children in the event that they need to eventually provide care for their father.

Now I’m wondering if an insurance policy is the best vehicle for meeting this very specific concern — immediate cash for living expenses while the rest of the estate is settled.  Both children already have custodial savings accounts.  Would we be better off funding those accounts or a similar accounts — enough to provide several month’s worth of living/school expenses?  The Husband seems convinced that no one would have access to the insurance policy payout any faster than they would any other estate funds.  The would defeat the whole purpose of the insurance.

Of course, the advantage of an insurance policy is that the benefit amount is immediately worth the payout amount.  It would take us much longer to build up their savings accounts to the same amount.  Another benefit of the policy we’re considering is that it would allow me the right of conversion without proof of insurability.  At this point, I’ll be able to pass a physical to qualify but there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to do that in the future.

Readers — I’d sure appreciate any informed wisdom you care to share with me on this subject!

My youngest sister has an upcoming birthday.  I called her the other day and asked if there were anything specific she wanted.  She listed two different CD titles that she’d like to have and then mentioned that she’d also love to have a new pair of pajamas.

It’s possible that my sister mentioned the PJ’s as just on off-the-cuff “oh by the way” gift idea, but my brain interpreted it as a direct challenge:  “Anyone can buy me one or the other of these CD’s but it will take someone really clever, someone who loves me enough to make the effort, to find me a pair of PJ’s that I love.”

PJ’s — how hard can that really be?  Here are the requirements: 

• flannel pants (either 3/4 or full length)
• short-sleeve t-shirt
• shirt cannot have buttons
• both pieces have to be 100% cotton and should be long and not form-fitting
• bottoms would ideally have elastic and drawstring waistband
• set should match and should actually be PJ’s and not just a pair of bottoms and a t-shirt

I really didn’t think this would be very difficult.  But so far I’m batting zero.

 I started at Old Navy.  The have cotton flannel bottoms but all of their tops are long-sleeved with buttons.  Strike one.

Next I check out The Gap.  They, too, have cotton flannel bottoms but the mix-and-match PJ tops are all either long sleeved, long-sleeved with buttons, or skimpy camis.  Strike two.

So then I visited Victoria’s Secret.  Their flannel PJ sets include flannel pants with weird waistbands and long-sleeved flannel buttondown tops.  Strike three.

I figured I’d check Sierra Trading Post to see what they had.  They actually had two or three different t-shirt and long bottom PJ sets but they were all too ugly to even consider. Strike four.

American Eagle’s selection included long-sleeve tops and Aeropostale’s t-shirts are a poly/cotton blend. Strikes five and six.

At this point I was beginning to suspect that my sister had sent me on a wild-goose chase, so I stretched out beyond my first-line shopping sources and did a Google search. That brought up several on-line stores that I’d never heard of but promised to have women’s PJ’s. Strikes seven through twenty.

Now what? Well, I can always fall back on the CD idea. But I haven’t completely given up — yet. I figure I’ll see what’s available at T.J. Maxx and Marshall’s. I only have a few days left, though, before I have to make a decision and get something in the mail.

Any suggestions?  Where are the cotton t-shirt & flannel pant PJ’s hiding?

edit:  I happened to look at Aeropostale again and noticed that while most of their tees are poly/cotton blends, there are one or two that are 100% cotton.  Question is, are the styles too young for my about-to-turn-39 year old sister.  She’s pretty hip so maybe it would be okay.

I got such great feedback on my basketball shoe dilemma that I’m turning to my readers with another puzzle.

The Son takes weekly cello lessons. His teacher is a young man who recently completed his graduate degree in music performance. He’s terrific — not just in general as a music teacher but also in that he’s a perfect fit for my quirky-might-have-Asperger’s son. The teacher never takes offense at The Son’s lack of communication or eye-contact and doesn’t lose patience with him when it’s obvious that not much energy went into practicing that week. In addition, on the odd occasion when the next student is late or absent, the teacher has extended The Son’s 45-minute lesson to an hour without asking for additional pay.

Each 45-minute lesson costs $26.25 and we don’t pay for weeks during which The Son does not have a lesson. So, my question is this: how much and in what form should we give the teacher as a Christmas/appreciation gift/bonus?

– opinions of tutors or private-lesson teachers are particularly appreciated but all feedback and opinions are welcome –

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that The Son is playing basketball on a middle-school team this season. I’m really torn about whether or not to outfit him with a pair of basketball shoes. Here are the pros and cons that I’ve identified — I’d love any input you have to offer.

Pros — Get the Shoes

1. Last year during The Daughter’s first basketball season we decided to forgo the BB shoes and stick with her runners; she suffered two serious ankle sprains that had her on crutches for a combined 4 weeks.
2. Buying basketball shoes wouldn’t break the bank.
3. The season is pretty short so we could potentially sell them and recover a portion of the cost.

Cons — Stick with The Runners

1. He’s growing so fast he’s sure to only get one season out of them.
2. They won’t be cheap (I think I paid about $50 for The Daughter’s at Famous Footwear this spring).
3. Maybe he won’t twist an ankle or have any trouble playing out the season in runners.

First hand or educated opinions are particularly appreciated but all input is welcome. Thanks!