As you know, I homeschooled our two children for 12+ years. Now they both attend a private high school that's a good commute away from home. The one part of this arrangement that I hate despise dread: lunches. I strongly dislike making lunches 5 nights a week. If that makes me a bad mom, so be it.
A few years ago the school agreed to allow a local caterer to use the school's (otherwise unused) kitchen and dining area to provide hot (occasionally organic) lunches to the students. Each lunch being nearly $5, we decided to allow The Daughter an average of two hot lunches per week. The rest of the week, I would pack a lunch for her.
Although these catered hot lunches first appeared to be a welcome, lucky opportunity, they've proven to be a bit of a disappointment. Meal sizes varied widely from day to day occasionally leaving The Daughter hungry. And since the fare is offered to everyone from kindergarten up through high school and, therefore must appeal to a wide range of palettes, the meals are reported to be very bland.
So this summer The Daughter came to us with a proposition: rather than pay for an average of two catered meals per week, her dad and I would give her that same amount of money in cash and allow her to make her own dining decisions. We agreed. [For more details, read my Updated Allowances post.]
Initially this fall, The Daughter would periodically announce that she didn't need a lunch for the following day because she had lunch plans with friends. After a while we settled into a pattern of no packed lunches needed on Friday. Lately, however, I've noticed that she's asking for a lunch every single weekday.
My first reaction (internal only, naturally) was indignation. "Hey! After all, I'm giving you money to eat out twice a week. Why do I also have to make lunches five days a week?" Then I realized how utterly ridiculous I was being. Beyond ridiculous; I was being hypocritical. After all, the whole point of the children's allowance is to teach them the value of money. So my next thought was, "Bravo! She's learned that lesson and learned it well."
I don't know what she's spending that allotted lunch money on or if she spending it at all. After all, as a high school senior, her finances are her own. Other than the patently obvious -- that she cannot spend her money on contraband or illegal activities -- she's free to spend, or not spend, her money however she chooses. And if she's smart enough to get two meals per week covered by allowance but eat home-packed lunches every school day, then just maybe I've taught her well.
As a freshman, The Son is not allowed to leave the school campus during school hours. Now it's his turn to choose an average of two hot catered lunches per week. He's learning which meals he likes and which ones to avoid. And we learned that we had to kick in an extra $2 for the extra portion on each meal -- after all he is a continually growing 15 yo boy. But next year, as a Sophomore, the closed campus rules will be lifted and I anticipated that we'll move to the same arrangement we have with his sister -- building that cost of lunch into his allowance and leaving him free to make his own dining decisions.
Is it too much to hope for that he'll eventually figure out the advantages of double dipping?
I'm pretty sure there's no hope that I'll stop dreading having to pack his lunch every day. But somewhere inside of me I'll be proud that he, too, has been well taught.
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Double Dipping
As you know, I homeschooled our two children for 12+ years. Now they both attend a private high school that's a good commute away from home. The one part of this arrangement that I hate despise dread: lunches. I strongly dislike making lunches 5 nights a week. If that makes me a bad mom, so be it.
A few years ago the school agreed to allow a local caterer to use the school's (otherwise unused) kitchen and dining area to provide hot (occasionally organic) lunches to the students. Each lunch being nearly $5, we decided to allow The Daughter an average of two hot lunches per week. The rest of the week, I would pack a lunch for her.
Although these catered hot lunches first appeared to be a welcome, lucky opportunity, they've proven to be a bit of a disappointment. Meal sizes varied widely from day to day occasionally leaving The Daughter hungry. And since the fare is offered to everyone from kindergarten up through high school and, therefore must appeal to a wide range of palettes, the meals are reported to be very bland.
So this summer The Daughter came to us with a proposition: rather than pay for an average of two catered meals per week, her dad and I would give her that same amount of money in cash and allow her to make her own dining decisions. We agreed. [For more details, read my Updated Allowances post.]
Initially this fall, The Daughter would periodically announce that she didn't need a lunch for the following day because she had lunch plans with friends. After a while we settled into a pattern of no packed lunches needed on Friday. Lately, however, I've noticed that she's asking for a lunch every single weekday.
My first reaction (internal only, naturally) was indignation. "Hey! After all, I'm giving you money to eat out twice a week. Why do I also have to make lunches five days a week?" Then I realized how utterly ridiculous I was being. Beyond ridiculous; I was being hypocritical. After all, the whole point of the children's allowance is to teach them the value of money. So my next thought was, "Bravo! She's learned that lesson and learned it well."
I don't know what she's spending that allotted lunch money on or if she spending it at all. After all, as a high school senior, her finances are her own. Other than the patently obvious -- that she cannot spend her money on contraband or illegal activities -- she's free to spend, or not spend, her money however she chooses. And if she's smart enough to get two meals per week covered by allowance but eat home-packed lunches every school day, then just maybe I've taught her well.
As a freshman, The Son is not allowed to leave the school campus during school hours. Now it's his turn to choose an average of two hot catered lunches per week. He's learning which meals he likes and which ones to avoid. And we learned that we had to kick in an extra $2 for the extra portion on each meal -- after all he is a continually growing 15 yo boy. But next year, as a Sophomore, the closed campus rules will be lifted and I anticipated that we'll move to the same arrangement we have with his sister -- building that cost of lunch into his allowance and leaving him free to make his own dining decisions.
Is it too much to hope for that he'll eventually figure out the advantages of double dipping?
I'm pretty sure there's no hope that I'll stop dreading having to pack his lunch every day. But somewhere inside of me I'll be proud that he, too, has been well taught.
Related posts: