Just in case you've missed any of them, here are my earlier posts in this thread:
Today's blessing -- The Husband's four adult children.
The Husband has three sons and one daughter from his first marriage. He also has five grandchildren.
The youngest of his first batch of sons has Down's Syndrome. J* is a blessing in and of himself as he is undoubtedly the least judgmental and most loving person I've ever encountered. The Son, years ago when he was just starting to figure out for himself that the older brother he'd grown up loving was "different", announced that God had made J* "so full of love" that there simply wasn't room enough left in him for the other, normal stuff.
J* joins us for dinner every Saturday night and has since before either of my children (The Daughter and The Son) were born. Thus, they grew up getting to know J* in a very natural and organic manner. Neither The Husband nor I ever mentioned or discussed or explained J*'s handicap. He simply was. The children gradually figured out for themselves that their brother was special.
Having J* around every week (plus living with us for two weeks every sumer) has been a very special blessing for our family.
The Husband's other three children have been blessings too. Any normal family of siblings would have completely rejected me. I was, after all, an interloper. The other woman. Their father and I caused their mother a great deal of pain, stress, and distress.
If I had been in their shoes I very likely would have not just rejected me but my children also.
Not The Husband's children. They have each been amazing in their acceptance of me, of my relationship with their father, and of their half-siblings. And they aren't simply civil. No, they're genuinely kind and welcoming.
Their acceptance of me was not overnight, mind you. But even in the beginning there was no unkindness or expressed bitterness or resentment or anger.
When The Husband and I decided that we simply could not live without each other and, against all odds, decided to make a go of it, I swore a solemn oath to myself that I would never, ever get between The Husband and his children. It was not easy -- being left alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas those first few years. But I was willing to make that sacrifice for the next 50 years, if necessary, to provide The Husband family time with his (adult) children.
Eventually, after The Daughter was born, and then The Son, his adult children started coming to our place for birthdays. My house was always open to them in whatever form and to whatever extent they felt comfortable.
Then, a year or so after The Son was born, The Husband's grandchildren started to arrive. Christmas and birthdays took on a new dimension as their children and their half-siblings began interacting much the way cousins would.
Over time we created family holiday traditions that accommodated their mother and their dad. I always host shindings on Father's Day, The Husband's birthday, The Son and The Daughter's birthdays, and Christmas.
None of these shared celebrations would have been possible without their kindness and generosity of spirit. The grandchildren and my children would not share the bonds of friendship and family love without their parents' willingness and acceptance. The joy evident in The Husband as he basks in the company and chaos of this 6 children and 5 grandchildren would not exist without their forgiveness and love.
I am forever in awe of the way in which all of The Husband's adult children have accepted and welcomed me. It is a true testament to both their father and mother (especially their mother) that they were capable of such a level of acceptance. I am blessed to have been allowed into their family.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Related posts:
- Counting My Blessings: #7
- $$: Dec 4 — Groceries & Sweat Pants
Subscribe in a reader or via Email
Counting My Blessings: #9
Just in case you've missed any of them, here are my earlier posts in this thread:
Today's blessing -- The Husband's four adult children.
The Husband has three sons and one daughter from his first marriage. He also has five grandchildren.
The youngest of his first batch of sons has Down's Syndrome. J* is a blessing in and of himself as he is undoubtedly the least judgmental and most loving person I've ever encountered. The Son, years ago when he was just starting to figure out for himself that the older brother he'd grown up loving was "different", announced that God had made J* "so full of love" that there simply wasn't room enough left in him for the other, normal stuff.
J* joins us for dinner every Saturday night and has since before either of my children (The Daughter and The Son) were born. Thus, they grew up getting to know J* in a very natural and organic manner. Neither The Husband nor I ever mentioned or discussed or explained J*'s handicap. He simply was. The children gradually figured out for themselves that their brother was special.
Having J* around every week (plus living with us for two weeks every sumer) has been a very special blessing for our family.
The Husband's other three children have been blessings too. Any normal family of siblings would have completely rejected me. I was, after all, an interloper. The other woman. Their father and I caused their mother a great deal of pain, stress, and distress.
If I had been in their shoes I very likely would have not just rejected me but my children also.
Not The Husband's children. They have each been amazing in their acceptance of me, of my relationship with their father, and of their half-siblings. And they aren't simply civil. No, they're genuinely kind and welcoming.
Their acceptance of me was not overnight, mind you. But even in the beginning there was no unkindness or expressed bitterness or resentment or anger.
When The Husband and I decided that we simply could not live without each other and, against all odds, decided to make a go of it, I swore a solemn oath to myself that I would never, ever get between The Husband and his children. It was not easy -- being left alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas those first few years. But I was willing to make that sacrifice for the next 50 years, if necessary, to provide The Husband family time with his (adult) children.
Eventually, after The Daughter was born, and then The Son, his adult children started coming to our place for birthdays. My house was always open to them in whatever form and to whatever extent they felt comfortable.
Then, a year or so after The Son was born, The Husband's grandchildren started to arrive. Christmas and birthdays took on a new dimension as their children and their half-siblings began interacting much the way cousins would.
Over time we created family holiday traditions that accommodated their mother and their dad. I always host shindings on Father's Day, The Husband's birthday, The Son and The Daughter's birthdays, and Christmas.
None of these shared celebrations would have been possible without their kindness and generosity of spirit. The grandchildren and my children would not share the bonds of friendship and family love without their parents' willingness and acceptance. The joy evident in The Husband as he basks in the company and chaos of this 6 children and 5 grandchildren would not exist without their forgiveness and love.
I am forever in awe of the way in which all of The Husband's adult children have accepted and welcomed me. It is a true testament to both their father and mother (especially their mother) that they were capable of such a level of acceptance. I am blessed to have been allowed into their family.
Related posts: