A Son’s Epiphany and A Mother’s Lesson

Posted on | November 15, 2008 |

photo credit: Ti H²O
The Son had a financial epiphany recently. As silly as it might seem, it was one of the proudest and most gratifying experiences of my mothering career so far — akin to watching him take his first step or learn to read.

The Son is 14. He has generally shown very little interest in money. He’s a child of few needs and even fewer wants. Because of his limited interest in spending or saving or even generally having money, his financial education has not followed the same trajectory as that of his sister.

However, no matter how slow we are out of the financial gate, we all eventually have our first financial epiphany. On Tuesday, The Son had his.

This summer, after discussion between me and The Husband, we raised The Son’s allowance. He didn’t ask for it but, well, I guess that’s all a different story. Anyway, since raising his allowance we’ve also been increasing his responsibility for financing his own dining-out excursions.

So back to Tuesday. That’s a day he’s normally at his homeschool co-op classes. On school days he takes a packed lunch but this past Tuesday we’d had to schedule a follow-up appointment with the orthopedist in the early afternoon which meant I’d have to pick him up early from school — right at lunch time.

On Monday night, while planning our schedule for the next day, the Son asked if we could stop at Panda Express for lunch before heading to doctor’s office. I said, sure, if he was paying. He had no problem with that.

[What you need to know at this point is that just a few days earlier I had made a bank run and had offered to make a deposit for The Son. He had handed over $40 in cash -- some of it allowance, some of it earned doing childcare at church -- leaving $10 in his wallet.]

So, Tuesday morning I reminded The Son to take his wallet with him. He grabbed the wallet, popped it open, and noted with some dismay that he only had $10 in there. Then he commented that it was a lot harder to spend money if you only have $10 than if you have $40.

Sweet music to my ears!

Thrilled on the inside but trying to project a calm nonchalance, I agreed with his conclusion. Unable to let a teachable-moment go by completely unused, I couldn’t help but say something to the effect that I hoped he continued to bank the better part of his income rather than deciding to keep more cash on hand.

But the story’s not over yet.

As promised, on the way into town for his doctor’s appointment, we stopped at Panda Express (after picking him up I asked again where he wanted to go and mentioned a couple of less expensive options; he had his taste buds set on Orange Chicken though). At the counter, he took longer than usual deciding on his order. I stood back and watched. Finally, he ordered a Panda bowl — that’s fried rice plus one entree. When I’m paying, he always orders the two-entree meal.

At this point I was a bit bemused by his nod to economy. The Son’s next move, however, was a shock. At the register, he declined a drink!

But the story still doesn’t end there.

As The Son was making his difficult and uncharacteristic food choices, I was struggling mightily to accept my own lesson: stay out of it. I so wanted to rescue him!

It was unbelievably difficult to stand quietly and watch him pare down his meal and skip a drink especially since I knew he didn’t have a water bottle with him and we had several hours ahead of us before we’d be going home. But stay out of it I did. And we both learned incredibly valuable lessons.

Share and Enjoy: