Buying Gifts: Equal Number or Equal Value?

Posted on | December 22, 2007 |

I had an interesting conversation with the clerk at Kohl’s today.

While conducting the transaction, I mentioned that I had to guess as to how much to put on the gift card because I couldn’t remember how much I’d already spent on this particular grandchild.

As I heard myself say this, it occurred to me how much difference there is in my shopping techniques for my immediate family as opposed to my shopping techniques for extended family.

The clerk was commisterating — she said she’d raised seven children and she was always careful to spend the same amount on each child. Apparently the children were very conscious of whether their presents were of the same value as the other children.

This is not how I shop for my children. On Christmas, I generally try to have the same number of gifts for my children. How much I spend on each just isn’t part of the equation. This year I think I’ve spent a good 3 or 4 times as much on The Daughter as I have on The Son. Sometimes, for birthdays, we spend $50; sometimes nearly 10 times that much. It all depends on what the child wants or the inspiration that strikes that year.

Shopping for the grandchildren and my nieces and nephews is different. Generally, I try to spend the same amount on each child (or each family, if I’m buying a combined family gift).

In thinking about this I’ve realized that there’s something deeper going on here.

When I’m shopping from the deep, shopping-from-love-trying-to-find-just-that-right-gift place, it really doesn’t matter how much I spend. Sometimes that perfect gift costs $5. Sometimes $50. What matters is that it’s just the right gift for the right person at the right time. I love that kind of shopping.

When I’m shopping from the I-feel-obligated place, it’s much more important to spend an equal amount on each person. Yes, I’m making an effort to buy something that the receipient will want and hopefully enjoy. But when push comes to shove, I’m buying because I need to give that person a gift. This type of shopping is unpleasantly stressful.

How do you shop? Do you pay more attention to the amount you spend? Or the number of gifts? Or something else entirely?

Share and Enjoy: