Costco — $43.06
Tanked up The Tank one more time before Christmas — I pumped 16.379 gallons @ $2.629/gal. and my odometer read 118,191.

Costco — $69.00

• a shrimp tray with big yummy shrimp for tomorrow’s party — $26.99
• 18-ct Nest Fresh eggs — $2.99
• a big bag of mini Babybel cheeses (also for the party) — $8.89
• huge bag of Doritos (for the kids and The Husband but not for the party — I don’t want a bunch of nacho cheese fingerprints on every surface in my house) — $4.59
• huge bag of Ruffles potato chips (for the party) — $3.99
• box of Nabisco variety snack bags (The Daughter requested for her school lunches and I’m such a sucker) — $10.79
• set of 4 “game” pens: Operation, Playdough, Etch-a-Sketch, and  (to be used as our last exchange gift in tomorrow’s game — $9.99

The Home Depot — ($4.27)
returned a light bulb I’d purchased for over the kitchen/dining table because it was the wrong type

The Home Depot — $15.28
Three of the right type of bulbs for over the kitchen/dining table ($10.62) desperately needed because two of the three bulbs in the fixture were burned out plus a 4-pack of bulbs ($3.58) for our basement stairway & hallway sconces.  I can’t substitute for CFL’s in either of these applications so I had to buy regular bulbs.

Factory Brand Shoes — ($37.86)
Returned the black peep-toe high-heeled shoes I bought for The Daughter for Christmas.  She found a pair of closed toe(better for winter) black heeled shoes that fit better (that expense wasn’t entered because The Husband paid for the shoes during a Father/Daughter shopping trip and I have yet to see the receipt).

Target — ($24.84)
Returned the two frames I bought for my sisters yesterday.   I still feel it was the right decision but I really need to get those two packages off.  There’s no way they’ll arrive before Christmas but it’ll be fun for everyone to have a few presents to open after the craziness of Christmas day has passed.

Target — $15.19
Candy for the candy dish at tomorrow’s party and for stocking stuffing (an M&M’s mini character — $1.66; a bag of York peppermint minis — $2.00; a 3-pack of Eclipse gum — $1.89; Hersey’s Kissables candy covered chocolate mini Kisses — $2.00; Treasures chocolate with caramel centers — $2.00.  Plus a 6-pack of little Coca Cola bottles for the kids to share — $4.99.

In general, I still restrict the kids’ caffeine intact, I actively discourage chewing and bubble gum, and we don’t keep much candy around the house.  But if you can’t break all the rules on vacation and at Christmas-time, the what the heck are rules for in the first place 

 Skatepark — $40.00
A gift card for Grandson #1 that can be used for skate time in the indoor skatepark and/or merchandise in the store.

Barnes & Noble — $21.51
Returned the one science book that The Husband deemed too advanced and unnecessary for Granddaughter #3.

Wild Oats — $56.38

• two trays of sushi that I took home and shared with The Son — $10.70
• Horizon heavy whipping cream — $2.99
• canister of Natural by Nature whipped cream (a fun treat for the kids) — $4.39
• quart of buttermilk (for more pies) — $2.99
• Santa Cruz organic caramel syrup — $4.29
• boneless smoked ham — $8.15
• sirloin steak, cubed for stew meat — $21.28

Starbucks - $10.00
Gift card for in The Son’s stocking — he likes those Vanilla Bean Frappacinos

Kroger — $93.55

• english muffins — $2.50 (saved $0.69)
• Digiorno pizza, cheese, thin crust — $5.66
• Digiorno pizza, 3 meat, regular crust — $5.66
• bag of Tostitos bite-size chips (for the party) – $2.88 (saved $0.42)
• leaf lettuce — $1.99
• celery — $1.69 (saved $0.66)
• cucumber — $1.29
• tomato — $1.82
• Newman’s Own balsamic vinegar — $6.99
• deli turkey — $2.87 (saved $0.61)
• deli genoa salami — $1.56 (saved $0.26)
• deli ham — $4.79 (saved $1.60)
• deli roast beef — $4.26 (saved $0.92)
• deli pepperjack cheese -$0.90 (saved $0.15)
• deli colby jack cheese – $2.76 (saved $0.46)
• deli mild cheddar cheese — $2.58 (saved $0.43)
• pastel mints –$1.69
• two 24-roll packages Kroger t.p. — $6.99/ea (saved $0.60/ea)
• Horizon chocolate milk — $3.49 (saved $0.20)
• box of Clementines — $4.99 (saved $2.00)
• dill pickles — $1.59
• Muir canned tomatoes — $2.29/ea.
• Dijon mustard — $3.89
• Best Foods mayonnaise — $2.79
• Dixie cup refills (in a cute colorful fish pattern that will go great with the bathroom decor) — $3.59 (saved $0.20)

I had an interesting conversation with the clerk at Kohl’s today.

While conducting the transaction, I mentioned that I had to guess as to how much to put on the gift card because I couldn’t remember how much I’d already spent on this particular grandchild.

As I heard myself say this, it occurred to me how much difference there is in my shopping techniques for my immediate family as opposed to my shopping techniques for extended family.

The clerk was commisterating — she said she’d raised seven children and she was always careful to spend the same amount on each child.  Apparently the children were very conscious of whether their presents were of the same value as the other children.

This is not how I shop for my children.  On Christmas, I generally try to have the same number of gifts for my children.  How much I spend on each just isn’t part of the equation.  This year I think I’ve spent a good 3 or 4 times as much on The Daughter as I have on The Son.  Sometimes, for birthdays, we spend $50; sometimes nearly 10 times that much.  It all depends on what the child wants or the inspiration that strikes that year.

Shopping for the grandchildren and my nieces and nephews is different.  Generally, I try to spend the same amount on each child (or each family, if I’m buying a combined family gift).

In thinking about this I’ve realized that there’s something deeper going on here.

When I’m shopping from the deep, shopping-from-love-trying-to-find-just-that-right-gift place, it really doesn’t matter how much I spend.  Sometimes that perfect gift costs $5.  Sometimes $50.  What matters is that it’s just the right gift for the right person at the right time.  I love that kind of shopping.

When I’m shopping from the I-feel-obligated place, it’s much more important to spend an equal amount on each person.  Yes, I’m making an effort to buy something that the receipient will want and hopefully enjoy.  But when push comes to shove, I’m buying because I need to give that person a gift.  This type of shopping is unpleasantly stressful.

How do you shop?  Do you pay more attention to the amount you spend?  Or the number of gifts?  Or something else entirely?