Based on what I've read in articles and books about children and allowance, encouraging and/or requiring one's child to set aside a portion of their allowance for charity or tithing is a common practice. I make no judgement on this practice. I respect each parent's right to choose how to teach their children how to handle money. However, I have chosen not to adopt the practice and I'm going to share with you the reasoning behind my decision.
The church we attend is my choice and weekly attendance is my decision. The children attend a Christian church because I am a Christian. We attend church on a weekly basis because I say so. My children go with me because I say that their attendance is not optional.
My children see me write a weekly check to my church. They've also seen me write additional checks -- sometimes to support specific purposes and sometimes just because I have some extra funds. They've seen me donate my time and energy to the church. They've accompanied me to weddings, baptisms, and funerals. They participate in events, eat at pot-lucks, attend religious instruction, and go on Easter Egg hunts. But at this point, they are members because I am a member.
I feel that when my children are grown they need to be given the freedom to follow their own paths and engage in their own seeking. If they find comfort in the same teachings that I do, so be it. If they find fulfillment elsewhere, so be that too. They may choose a completely different faith -- my paternal grandfather was Jewish. They may choose, as two of my own siblings did, to not have no religious affiliation at all. They will make those decisions, as adults, in freedom. And once they've chosen their path, in freedom, they will support and participate on a social and economic level of their choosing. As adults.
May the Peace be with you also.
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But no matter which (if any) religion they choose as adults, won’t the habit of sacrifice become more ingrained if they have given of their own earnings rather than just observing your giving practices?
Excellent question, sahmmy, but I guess its not my goal for giving to be “ingrained.” Each act of giving that I engage in is a conscious act of will. I would like for their acts of charity, just as their choice of religion, to be a conscious act of will.
When my sons were children attending a Catholic elementary school they tithed a small amount to our church. After 6th grade I let it be their choice and sometimes they did, and sometimes they didn’t. I tended to stress giving of time over giving of money when they were growing up. We would make it a family thing sometimes too. I think they have a strong sense of there being something higher than themselves. And I believe they are Christians in their hearts. But they also show interest in Eastern culture religions. To me it is all about the love. As long as they feel the love for themselves, their family and friends, their community, and hopefully the rest of the world … I don’t care what religious affiliation they choose.
Sorry about that rambling … this is subject matter near and dear to my heart.
Long story short … I guess I’m for requiring a bit of tithing when they are in their elementary school age years, then giving them choice after that.
Great Post Elizabeth
Dawn,
Thanks for your input. I can see your point. Still, to me tithing seems like an “adult” activity to me.
I’ve really enjoyed reading these comments! I’d love to hear more.
Just found your site after doing a web search on this subject. I have been reading/thinking/praying about this subject myself over the past several months.
My thought on this is that my job as a Christian parent, first and foremost, is to teach my children Biblical truths while they are under my charge (as instructed by God to parents themselves), “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” — Prov. 22:6 AND
“do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”- Eph. 6:4.
Since we are directed in the scriptures to give of our tithes and offerings, then it is my job to not only teach by example (as you clearly do), but to also spend some time showing my children where in the Bible I learned to do so.
I agree that forcing them to give “10%” of their allowance does not create “cheerful giver”, but I have also seen my children WANTING to tithe as a result. I have also begun to see my 9 year old daughter wanting to give “a little more” each Sunday when she hears of a special need in the church, etc.
My point is, I don’t MAKE them tithe, but I am obedient in my role as parent by teaching (and showing them in the Bible) my children these things which God has commmanded, and by doing so, they in turn happily give a portion of their own allowance on their own. I believe God blesses them for their faithful sacrifice as much as He blesses “adults” who do the same.
Thanks for the blog entry. Great writing! Merry Christmas!
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[…] There were generally no restrictions on what they could spend their money on nor any requirements about saving or tithing [see my thoughts on compulsory tithing]. […]