I took a short trip to Home Improvement Hell today. If you own a home, you’ve been there and will know what I’m talking about.

We desperately need to get our house painted. We also need to have our gutters repaired and our deck repaired and refinished. And we’re quickly running out of warm weather in which to get the work done.

This spring I had a contractor out to the house and got a quote that involved stuccoing the exterior, fixing the gutters, installing a new garage door, and replacing some or all windows. I’d met the guy at the spring home show, was impressed enough to take a card and give him my contact info, and liked him even more when he came to the house and put together the quote. Over the summer The Husband and I had a series of conversations and agreed to dump the idea of stuccoing the exterior because it simply would not increase the value of the house enough to justify the expense. We agreed that painting and fixing the gutters were the two highest priority tasks. Replacing the garage door is pretty much a given to be done when the house is painted. And the question of replacing some of the windows is still up in the air — to be determined, mostly, by what the other projects will cost. With everything else happening this summer and my tendency to procrastinate, no definite steps were taken to start the project.

Then early this fall I had our handyman take down the eye-sore of a shed attached to our back deck and, as will happen, it was discovered that some minor repair work was needed on the deck. It’s also very clear that if we don’t have the deck refinished soon it will end up needing more repairs or, even worse, need to be replaced. The handyman could repair the deck but it’s not his area of expertise and since he works by the hour, not by the job, we’d most likely be better off getting a deck guy to do it.

So I finally called the contractor back in early September to try to get things moving and done before it got too far into winter. I called, left a message, and waited for a return call. Two weeks later, I call again. This time I get a call back from a secretary — she takes my name and wants to know in detail the work I want done. I tell her that it’s in reference to a quote earlier this year, that I want to make a few changes to the work we want done, and I want to make sure the numbers quoted are still good. A week later I call back. Oh, yes, he’s gotten the message, they’re really sorry they haven’t gotten back, he’ll call this Friday. Well, he didn’t call on Friday but he did call some time the next week.

Yes, he remembers me. No stucco? That’s fine; sure he remembers quoting painting and repairs as an alternative. Sure, they can fix the deck and refinish it too. He’s going to have his painter call me by the end of the week to schedule an appointment to look at the job and confirm the quote.

Painter calls a week later; he’ll come out to take a look on Wednesday. Wednesday morning he calls, can he reschedule for Friday? Sure. Friday comes, naturally I have to shuffle things with The Husband so I can be home for the appointment with the painter. Painter doesn’t show. He doesn’t call. Finally, Tuesday he calls; he’s so sorry, his wife had to be rushed to the hospital, she’s got COPD and pneumonia. Let’s make an appointment for Thursday. Wednesday I cancel; I hate to do it but I want to see The Daughter play in the District Championships. We reschedule for Sunday afternoon. Today.

The Daughter and I are shopping, finally getting things done but we have to quit before we’re done so I can be home to meet the painter. Appointment time rolls around but no one shows. Half an hour later, he calls. He’s running late. He’ll be here in two, two and half hours. Excuse me?!? I didn’t talk to him — The Daughter answered and simply took the message. Well this sucks. The Daughter and I were going to go out and finish our shopping after the appointment. We cut our errands short so I can get home, there’s not enough time to go out now, and by the time we’re done looking at the job the stores will be closed. I’m pissed.

Well, the painter finally shows. Stinking of cigarettes… and alcohol!! Are you kidding me?! I went through the paces of showing him the job; he’s mumbling and rambling and I just want to go into the house and lock all the doors. At one point he’s apologizing again for not showing up; his wife was in the hospital except this time the story involves her being attacked by a pack of dogs. Huh?! There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’d let this guy work on my house. Can we just go back in time and not have any of this happen?

Now I’m bummed. I’ve wasted two months trying to deal with these clowns and now I have to start the whole process of finding a contractor from the very beginning. Cr*p.

Church — $15.00
Weekly offering.

Einstein Bagels — $17.10
I knew The Son’s Supersize Me-induced soda moratorium would be short lived After all, he’s 13 and skinny as a bean pole. It doesn’t bother me any since I consider it my job to limit his soda intake. We ordered our usual Dozen Bucket Deal (13 bagels and 2 tubs of schmear), a Sprite, one chocolate mudslide cookie (for The Son), and one purple iced baseball cookie (for The Daughter — it didn’t help, the Rockies were swept by the Sox tonight — boo hoo).

Thrift Store — $31.14
The Daughter needed to shop for her Hallowe’en costume so we stopped by on the way home from church. She found a red skirt and orange turtleneck for her costume (she and a friend are doing some kind of Scooby-Doo theme) plus a black skirt for everyday wear and a cheap costume wig she’ll wear to school tomorrow. I found a pair of khakis for The Son that he’ll need to try on tomorrow to check sizing. This particular store allows returns for store credit.

Target — $15.32
The Daughter found a Beatles tee she just had to have and she picked up a pair of footless tights that she’s been wanting. She has to dress up for school on a regular basis because team members dress up on game days. I’m just happy that she’s willing to wear something on her legs under her skirts on these cold days. She’s gone over her clothing budget/allowance for the month so I’ll have to sit her down and show her the numbers and make it clear that next month’s clothing budget/allowance will be reduced by the amount she went over this month.

Naturally she found a pair of high-heeled shoes she fell in love with on the way out of the store but I was quite firm in saying no. She called her Grannie to ask for help in persuading me to change my mind and everyone had a good laugh over it. One simply cannot underestimate the value of a sense of humor when dealing with teens!

It wasn’t until this evening that I realized I’d forgotten to check to see if they’d restocked their laundry detergent aisle with Tide Free I’m about 1/2-way through my second box and will need more before too long. I hate running out. Also forgot that I needed plastic wrap again. Ugh.

I did take a look at the men’s watches in anticipation of Christmas. The Son needs a new wristwatch as his youth sized Timex barely fits around his wrist. I’d really like to get him an analog watch but he might balk at that. It’s still early enough that if I can get him into the store and just happen to be near the watch section so we might as well take a look at them, he won’t necessarily put 2 and 2 together; and even if he does he’ll have enough time to completely forget the event so that when a new watch ends up in his stocking he’ll be mildly surprised.

Shoe Store — $37.86
My first official Christmas present purchase for 2007. I bought a pair of black high-heeled shoes for The Daughter — she’s been bugging me about this particular pair of Mudd shoes for about a month now. The heels are pretty high but thick so she won’t look like she’s tottering. They’re black with open toes, a more flattering look than these silly thick rounded toes I’m seeing everywhere these days, and a wide grosgrain ribbon. The return period is 90 days so I’m safe buying them for Christmas. I’m pretty sure I figured out the size right the last time she tried them on — I have to be a lot more sneaky and devious when dealing with The Daughter than with The Son — and you never know whether she’ll still think they’re cute in another 2 months. I was thrilled to hear that the return period was long enough that I wasn’t taking an unprotected risk buying them for Christmas.

and today I made two returns:

Gap Outlet — ($37.81)
I returned the two pair of size 16 khakis I purchased for The Son last week [see entry].

Sports Authority — ($22.68)
I returned one of the two pair of basketball shorts I bought for The Daughter [see entry]. I think she’ll agree with this decision after she gets a look at her clothing budget/allowance and be glad that she’s not an additional $22.68 in the hole for a pair of shorts.